The Mind of Jared

Christmas in Chicago

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:18:43 -0700

It was a lot of fun being in Chicago for Christmas this year. We had an amazing dinner on Christmas Eve complete with paper hats and these little instruments that I wanted to break in half after about five minutes. I think those were Vanessa’s favorite. The game on Monday night ended well - the Bears won in an intense overtime, and I now know the ultimate way to stay warm no matter what the temperature at the game - bring a sleeping bag! It was -12 at the game, but I stayed warm the whole time. The salt probably destroyed the sleeping bag, but I stayed warm. I also learned that foot warmers are a waste of time. All they do is make your feet uncomfortable. I’m glad that we were able to go to Chicago this year for Christmas, though. I have also found out one of my new favorite things: air-soft guns! I’m going to have to get one so John, Christian, and I can shoot each other. The propane powered pistol John and Christian got is pretty sweet. The gun kicks and everything - it’s an identical replica. Just make sure you are wearing more than just a long sleeve shirt when you get shot or else you will definitely feel it! We learned that one the fun way. Be sure to check out my new web gallery for a bunch of pictures. You can get to it by going to the link at the top of the page or just click here. Merry Christmas, everybody!

The Gangster tour

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 19:54:54 -0700

In Chicago, all the guys went on the Gangster Tour. For $27 you sit on a bus for two hours and listen to some dude talk about the mob. In theory it sounds pretty cool because you get to see the actual spots where stuff happened like the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, but in reality, save your $27 and watch the documentary on the History Channel. Some of it was pretty cheesy, like when the bus was swerving around on the road and machine gun fire was coming over the loudspeaker to simulate a drive-by shooting. Every time you heard gunfire you were to duck down and take cover, but seeing as how no one on the bus was under the age of 10, we were not amused with playing that game. The facilitator of the tour was a good sport trying to keep us all entertained despite the fact that no one was playing along with his little games like singing along with some Italian song. No one was having any of it. If it were me up there I probably would have ended up throwing the microphone at somebody. Of course none of the original spots exist now - they’ve all been torn down and something else rebuilt, except for the theater where John Dilinger was shot. That’s still there. They showed us where this O’Bannion guy had his floral shop that he used to bootleg alcohol and where he was shot dead (in fact, there is still a bullet hole in the wall where he was killed in a drive-by) and the spot of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. I still think it would be just as good to watch the documentary on the History Channel, though. So when you’re in Chicago, save your money and go on a different tour.

On My way back from chicago

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 19:25:26 -0700

I’m currently sitting on the plane on my way back from Chicago with the fam. We had a lot of fun - too bad the Bears lost, but that’s for another post. The plane ride coming back to Phoenix always sucks. It’s something like a 3.5 hour flight, but it feels like 35. The game was a good time despite the freezing weather. I’m just glad it didn’t rain. Saturday was Trevor’s birthday, so the guys went downtown to hang out. What we did, you ask? You don’t wanna know. From what I understand, as long as you are outside of your stake boundaries, rules don’t really apply. Actually, we went on the Gangster tour and walked around downtown for a bit. Since I was on Michigan Avenue, I obviously had to take a trip to the holy land (the Apple Store). While there, I accidentally set off one of the security alarms on a MacBook. If you ever go to Chicago soon, you have to go to Eleven’s and get the Moshe Cristo. It is the best sandwich I have ever tasted in my life. I don’t know what kind of bread it’s on, but it is AMAZING. I never thought a sandwich could be so good. Being in the cold this weekend made me glad I live in Arizona, and it wasn’t even that cold in Chicago. It was in the 30’s and 40’s but the wind was brutal. Chicago is an awesome city, though. I love it there.

The best mug shot ever

Thu, 9 Oct 2008 23:05:50 -0700

Is this not the best picture you have ever seen? This is the kind of story that you wouldn’t think could happen outside of a Family Guy episode. Turns out she was arrested after she was caught “impeding traffic” and (I’m not making this up) chasing children and taking a leak on her neighbors garden. I would LOVE to have seen a video tape of this. I guess she was wearing the cow suit to promote some theme park or something, kind of like those guys you see on the side of the road waving big advertisement signs trying to get you to go to some store or something. It’s just that normally you don’t see these people in a drunken stupor chasing the neighborhood children. I guess she figured she had enough with the crappy job and went out on a drinking binge. If your going to go drink your sorrows away, that’s one thing, but why wouldn’t you change your clothes first? On the bright side, she’s probably got the insanity plea going for her if she wanted to play that card.

Monkey Waiters

Wed, 8 Oct 2008 22:53:22 -0700

Turns out Japan has started to hire monkeys as their waiters. I can’t decide if this is the best or the worst idea I have ever heard. In some ways it’s genius because the owner of this restaurant has eliminated a lot of his overhead. I mean, how much do you really have to pay monkeys? A few bananas an hour? Best of all, not only can the monkeys pass along a drink to the customer, but lice as well. I don’t know if I would want a monkey touching things that I am going to be ingesting. But that’s just me. According to the customers, the monkeys are better than the worst human waiters. In other words, the monkeys are equivalent to just bad waiters. Nice. Check out the video below...